The Long Haul of Homeschooling
That's you, if you're tired or wondering where to go from here.
This post is for the veteran—the homeschooler who can teach a child to read while stir frying dinner, who has more books in her bookcases than she could ever use, the one who multi-tasks (violin lesson for one child, reading with another while waiting, picking up yet another child from soccer practice on the way home).
This post is also for the parent who is tired. Cracking open a new set of math books isn’t as exciting as it once was. The hope that this year “will be different” for at least one of the children has dimmed. The home educator starts to wonder if they've got the energy to keep planning creative projects for the younger ones while their high school kids are demanding a new kind of attention and focus.
The Long Haul
Make no mistake. Home education starts off as an exciting adventure for everyone, especially the parent. A plan and purpose to child rearing combined with the thrill of quality books and a deepening interest in history and science creates a momentum in the home that few outside the homeschooling movement really grasp. That momentum sustains many families for years, often right through junior high for the oldest child.
Usually, though, about year 8, 9 or 10, the primary homeschooling parent (usually the mom) feels the effects of being solely responsible for the education of her children. Both weariness and worry sneak in the back door.
Your kids’ complaints about certain subjects and habits get louder.
You face the inevitable failures of programs that were supposed to transform your child’s abilities in a specific subject area.
Teaching children to read, over and over and over again (depending on how sizable your brood is) becomes not just tedious but annoying.
How do you inject life back into the predictable routine so that all of you can re-up your enthusiasm and commitment to home education?
A few ideas to get started
Do what you, the home educator, love to do, every week.
That sounds obvious, but usually the first thing to go in a family’s togetherness program is a parent’s passions. If you love knitting, keep knitting and take classes to keep it going. If you feel an itch to study a specific subject, find an online school, or go back to college, or join a community program to teach you. Do one thing every week that expands who you are and what you think about. Your passion for learning will inevitably impact how you teach your kids and what they see for their own futures. Truly amazing how that works.Join a co-op or a cottage school, hire a tutor, enroll in an online class, or use part time enrollment in public school options.
You can’t do it all yourself forever and your kids don’t want you to. Find other adults who are passionate about the subjects you either don’t know well enough or don’t want to teach. Kids enjoy getting out of the house and hearing feedback from other adults. You’ll like the break.
Brave Writer has online writing class options that are a life saver for so many.Get out of the house.
When our kids were little (with strollers, backpacks, diaper bags, and juice cups), we got out of the house often (sanity required it). But somehow, once our kids are old enough to carry their own stuff, we forget to leave. We stay home except for outings to the supermarket or piano teacher. Get back to your weekly outings. Walk in the fresh air, visit a museum, hike, bike ride, play miniature golf or go bowling. Do something out of the house that gets the blood pumping!Pick a family project to do together!
Remember the medieval feasts of your kids’ youth? The pretend backyard Olympics? As our kids get older, we stop the big projects because we think book work is more important. For teens especially, big absorbing projects are especially important! Join Project Feederwatch and count birds every week. Follow through on those kitchen style science experiments. Learn how to compost. Quilt blankets for leukemia patients. Build a computer from scratch. Train to run in a 10K with your teens. Projects that take longer to complete are satisfying and educational!Consult your kids.
Ask them what would make them happy. What new thing would they like to try, learn, discover, execute? If a 15 year old asks for piano lessons, it’s not too late. If your teen wants to learn to fly a plane, guess what? It’s possible. Remember, your teens are as happy as they are busy with meaningful activities. Social life, adventures, and a feeling of independence give them the greatest sense of well-being. And if your teen is happy, they’re more likely to want to fulfill their responsibilities too. Guess what? That will make you happier too.
The homeschool vision that started your family’s learning journey needs to “re-up”—to address both your need for variety and your teen’s ability to take on challenging projects. Go for it!
Your homeschool has the chance to be exciting and motivating again.
Give me your biggest struggles in the comments. Let’s help each other “re-up”!
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I don’t necessarily have a struggle but a celebration to share and gratitude to lay at your feet, Julie! Early on in my homeschooling, say, 12ish years ago, you encouraged awesome adulting. You encouraged doing a bit of what I wanted to do right amidst the kids, smack dab in the middle of our day and living room! I took that advice and I am ever so grateful for the advice and my action! Now as my boys are older and so very independent I have a lot of time on my hands in between their calls for “MOOOOOMMMM!” and I’m not floundering. I did a little, at first as they were doing more of their own thing and needing me a tad less, but then I remembered I can just do MORE of what I want to do! I raised up a puppy! (Never really did that before, it was fun!) I took up watercolor painting.
All this to say to the new mamas, heed that advice to do the awesome adulting! Find something you enjoy and make it a priority! Even more than homeschooling! Take care of you first and the rest is easier, trust this veteran! (One graduated homeschooler, 25, a teen almost 16 and an 11 year old whose reading has just recently taken off)!
With gratitude,
marci
I tried to incorporate learning Italian into our homeschool because I wanted to learn. I eventually gave up when I saw my passion was not contagious and my kids offered up lackluster responses to “come stai?” day after day.
So, I decided to give it up and take an adult class by myself. That was two years ago and I'm still attending. Guess who decided learning a foreign language is fun and begged me to set up Duolingo?
Now my oldest is learning and my youngest two love to learn new words I teach them. I still haven't incorporated it into our homeschool and I don't think I ever will. It's a hobby, a personal project and those are far more exciting.