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Emily Bailey's avatar

I think a lot of the public school bashing can happen in a misguided attempt to fortify a homeschooling parent’s own confidence in their decision. Most homeschoolers I know have a gut feeling and/or strong desire to homeschool, and an equally strong fear that they’re making the wrong choice—that if they don’t outdo the public school system in every way, they will fail their kids.

Further, naming what is wrong with the status quo and vowing to change it intentionally is something many homeschoolers find themselves doing as they solidify their vision for their homeschools or seek to justify their decision to homeschool to their partners, their in-laws, their neighbors, the grocery store clerk…. It’s easy to get catty, critical, defensive, and “holier-than-thou” if we’re not careful.

I also see homeschool bashing as a trap we fall into when we are de-schooling ourselves or our kids, or healing from complex or acute trauma we experienced on public school grounds. Naming trauma is part of healing, and we need to tell our stories as part of that process. In this state of grieving, it’s often easy to make sweeping generalizations that vilify an institution—and even sometimes the people in it. Further along in the healing journey comes a more expansive grace, the ability to hold nuance and complexity, an allowance for multiple truths and equally valid perspectives.

One of the most beautiful gifts a veteran homeschool mom gave me when I was new on this journey (and more judgmental and prideful and scared than I realized), was her definition of public school:

A tool.

After I lost a friend by unknowingly offending her as I preached my parenting and educational ideals to her, I decided I would remember and respect public school as one of many tools people use to educate their kids. That perspective has served me far better than glorifying homeschool and looking down on anything else.

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Candy from Like A Sister's avatar

What’s so interesting is that many, many parents who home educate are the product of public schools (like me!). I felt confident enough to try homeschooling in part because my education, though it has holes - everyone’s does! - gave me a firm foundation. While our public educations can reveal the flaws in the system, we rarely talk about the tools we have gained - both/and.

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